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Remember the old days when dads would never even think about entering a hospital delivery room, instead staying outside — probably away from the hospital entirely — smoking cigars, joking with buddies, and basically waiting for news of a boy or a girl? Of course, it’s a great thing that we’ve come a long way since then. Mostly.

I say mostly because of this list of the 27 dumbest things dads have said in the delivery room. Frankly, I don’t know how you recover from #1. But if you still have your teeth, check out numbers 5, 15, 17, and 18. Oh, and my personal favourite….#12.

Seriously, guys, we need to go to delivery room etiquette classes. Or just learn to shut the heck up.